I abandon all (Todo lo abandono)
At nine months, I abandoned my mother,
I never returned to her safe womb for comfort or ease.
A few days later, I also abandoned my father,
repelled by his alcoholic breath.

The shelter of fantasy and of solitude
saved my childhood.
In this way, I abandoned fear of people and the dark.

But when one is honest, the world is a miser.
In my adolescence
all was abandonment:
friends I did not want to see again
and places I did not want to walk again.

I abandoned my studies, discovered books.
I sank into the night, I hated my body, loved my hands.
Lost time, lost in introspections, fantasies, depressions,
animosities.
I wanted to die, I wanted to kill myself, I didn’t want anything, wantednothing.
I abandoned desire, will.
I gave into apathy.

I found a place, a job, an identity.
A place that cheated me.
A job that treated me badly.
Identity is a custom worthy of abandoning.
I abandoned all of it.

My vanity defeats my friends:
I abandon them.
My rootlessness defeats my family:
I abandon them.

Even the most beautiful,
this fracture of love, breaking my spirit, forcing me to joy—
I abandon.