[Ever Since I Came Back I Think]

Ever since I came back I think

Daily about your voice on the phone

Certain. At times brutal.

I was desperate.

No, I no longer want anything to do with you

I imagine someone else: I take a nap and sleep alone

I ask my friend’s opinion

I cycle through the options. Grip my jaw.

Finger my two passports, the green sky

I leave my keys in the apartment, get a treat

I massage saliva into my leg, smell my finger.

I pick up some toiletries, a pack of bandanas.

I scratch the inside of my eye and watch the setup for a film

Funny the number of belated conclusions:

I should have known then when I thought I lost my ring