5 blocks away: not far, but still enough to worry about someone seeing and stopping to talk, so going over block and walking fast crucial. Looking out for 1998 turquoise Mazda parked in stopping zone in front of outdoor goods store, differently sized tents displayed in window. / /

Already proud months earlier, evening before first meeting at subway when returned to empty apartment (parents were out for day). Watching something with sister—BBC Jane Austen adaptation—seduced by satisfaction of knowing something she would be horrified by, if she knew. Fact of having secret most important thing. Male friend of hers was dating older guy. Different with gay people, she guessed. Continuing watching Keira Knightley’s alternatingly placid and tortured expression. / /

It takes training. There used to be a video uploaded to an amateur porn site offering tips, such as: how to relax, arch one’s back, and stick one’s ass out at the same time, to throw the head back, like a horse, but sexy. To grab the arm of one’s partner (who needs something as support, so just one, or they will fall over) and pin it behind the back. To focus on consistency of rhythm and balance that against variation, how to speed up and slow down. It was by a semi-professional, self-employed making enough on selling clips to be full time gig. It takes dedication to commit to that sort of production value.

Never accept an offer to be picked up at your house and never agree to meet them at their house. Always meet in public. However you identify* make sure to always share your plans with at least one trusted friend or member. Tell them where you’re going and when you expect to be back and agree to call them to check in. (*This was 2005, so might have been something like: “whether you’re a boy or a girl”). / /