isn&rsquo;t the winter where our heads are tilted toward the sun ?

people pass through my life like sirens

which is not right , not desirable


when the day was falling ...

sound was processed , claustrophobic

said love like mine , go , leave


we&rsquo;re in the time the sun produced , or out of time

saying how will we love

this far away from heaven !


well it&rsquo;s lonely here , people say

you shouldn&rsquo;t have been born

but here you are&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; whole world

to binge


all that atheist shit done

now ,

as I live my life in service of becoming so present :

r.i.p. pop smoke , grandma gloria , linda , literally memory

plastic ocean , self-medicate , clouds

break up , black horizon

as the block-end swarms with men fixing the roof of the key foods &hellip;

we live obviously in a state , weeping

contesting the subway , all open and running

and slowing down , the police are inserting a person into a bag

and into a van , 16 or so of us watching

sure , I&rsquo;m almost 30 , shale-like , abundant

it&rsquo;s actually not on the nose cuz I&rsquo;m not thinking at all

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I read this interview about the language of organ tuning and harmonic expressions

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; that have been disappeared from the western music-historical memory

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; there were different tunings for different villages , tunings for the church ,

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; the castle , different cultures of feeling ... can&rsquo;t verify

reality comes roaring off my body image in these great gray waves

so I&rsquo;ve ghosted jobs

I&rsquo;m not self-satisfied or grateful for my minor good fortunes ,

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; they do happen and everyone will have them

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; it&rsquo;s a high value that glows where new ideas gather


&nbsp;


&nbsp;


I&rsquo;m trying to elaborate this idea of vulnerability in my relationships

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; that deprioritizes the transcendence of fear and ugliness

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; but I might be wrong about it , the voice being so naked

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; in song and desire , I don&rsquo;t have my priorities in order

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I feel I have a lot of fear and ugliness to transcend ...

I miss my friend , she&rsquo;s gone away

even though she lives in flatbush ...

someone utterly screams outside my window

today , I saw my body in the mirror and tears came

I was so grateful for life

my pupils were so wide

my heart was so full of worms

then it wasn&rsquo;t

I&rsquo;m sure it isn&rsquo;t

a day of recording my saying hello to myself

self-medicate , drone , escutcheon of fortitude ...

I think what I want to say is not in the words area

it comes from earlier on

my fear of the body I didn&rsquo;t know I had &mdash; I get older

I put something human on my face

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &mdash; not that


as I approach the door with a welcoming action

if I&rsquo;m walking in an urban situation I&rsquo;m usually walking with someone


we on our own huh even if I make it early


&nbsp;


if I&rsquo;m in line any line&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; then , a disentangled grid


equals a local battle


&nbsp;


at the supreme north face drop for example &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;


inside a shirt or sneaker, time circulates


&nbsp;


you know they locked in the first 25 people in the first gate ?


and everybody else in the second gate


and beyond got a number&hellip;


&nbsp;


you know security is out here trying new procedures every week


&nbsp;


in an urban situation , I&rsquo;m usually walking with someone and shake


I need a bite of chicken and we make a careful decision


about a hat or costly tonal shift


&nbsp;


we don&rsquo;t usually get that right


we&rsquo;re not healthy so the situation dips to slow possession


&nbsp;


can you tell us about the numbering system how it&rsquo;s working


that&rsquo;s not wrought that&rsquo;s good


that can be hard to think through ?


&nbsp;


I&rsquo;m usually walking or waiting with someone&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;


increasingly conscious of the barrier


&nbsp;


an example of no flowers or shrapnel&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;


we&rsquo;re insulting the line from beside it


&nbsp;


it&rsquo;s just people that wait in line from time then from there


they give me my stuff then they eat


soon we all eat ? just thinking that doesn&rsquo;t make sense


&nbsp;


I was going forward after all I was planning


to buy an expensive shirt not co-sign the situation of the street&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;


&nbsp;


I did that and I didn&rsquo;t &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; then I was walking suddenly


&nbsp;


with someone very different


I CRIED THEN I WAS UNABLE TO GO FORWARD

look such pleasure when a death &mdash; completely awash with cars

&nbsp; &nbsp; moaning along . look such a

black happening . people


have whole degrees of attachment error .


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;before I was so removed from the bookstore , was going to say

&nbsp; &nbsp; something , was

winding up to say something about the nerve and field of meaning of

&nbsp; &nbsp; this violent rehearsal

, its implications for life on earth . sort of said it . sort of meant


the cool afternoon and its brutal interests , something ,


in the work boots of the culture dispenser , and ,


I&rsquo;m returning the books to your shelves .


I come here every day , you know , and never find pleasure


it contributes in a singularly emphatic way to the ideological function of art

excess is advancing , this inhibition could go again , my obligations shake


off the leg like a tumble of lint . I&rsquo;m a stable


cultural accident , brain blockchained to the


police


station as I walk to the co-op and back , a unit


of shook economy , a culture , tended ,


for the driftless Midwestern thought


tank . break . black moonlight break


black window .


we owe each other a yes . we will win , for we have no other option .


we want the energy of high design to lift


debris from our hearts , to call our fathers on the


phone , make them stop


this barbarous oiling . but there&rsquo;s only us


here , not consolation . etc .&nbsp; I&rsquo;m iridescent


in the university office , handing intellectual property to the


moderate secretary , salaried ,


so supportive , then a word from my heart


sweeps oxygen into me ,


then a worm in my heart , then ,


trust , attention ?


in the club one night the song I heard was only broken glass


then I knew it , I was sick , I said I&rsquo;m sick , I&rsquo;m up , I am


listen up

when the cars stopped , my home became the scene of many visions

many eulogies were close-read and rewritten

in my home , where I grind against necessity

and give off blue sparks , consider ablations

&ldquo; consider ablations &rdquo; like chance has no plan


maybe i'll sell crystals at the airport

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; very missing caramel : very ugly sundae , hostile


can I help you from a man in a suit at a building downtown . but ,&nbsp;


we&rsquo;re under a similar heel .


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I&rsquo;m a vandal , the grid is on ice with my common


plantings . no machine can make me whole .


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; in the DC summer , I was devastated , that fire

&nbsp;


brought lines to my face ( BD . and workers

&nbsp;


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; in these liberal fits and patterns

&nbsp;


on the same page of quote pragmatism . I&rsquo;m a black American taxpayer


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; but when I woke from my dream


of jogger shopping , I was still in this world of enclosure , with


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; the coast in me , the climax . then I think : the police


are strong with this one . it&rsquo;s drama . everything&rsquo;s getting cloned .


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; and in the New York summer , I was devastated .


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; and in the Cincinnati summer


I was devastated . and in the Iowa summer


&nbsp;


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; -&mdash; but not to fix it ? the zoo paid my grandma a lot

&nbsp;


to leave her home . that old blue house

&nbsp;


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; was barely even blue as it fell off the side of the road .

&nbsp;


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; when you think of peace , you&rsquo;re sick , my friend .


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; your face is lit


with the revolution&rsquo;s problems .


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; as for me ,&nbsp; who loves to not suffer , I&rsquo;m bathed in


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; the brilliant lights


of attention where racist painters craft a stupid response:


&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; the circus is returning , with bells and bombs on ,


calling on us all to carry that cold to the subway and home .


millenarian amoxicillic blues

Spurious !

&nbsp;


( Helene Johnson

&nbsp;


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;my dream of heaven was an ice cream factory , but it


echoed blackface heaven from a few minutes earlier . &amp; all wishes ,

&nbsp;


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; brained on the marvel of televised limbo where production


assistants line up lights and vanish , drag social pain into procedures

&nbsp;


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;that taste great on camera . ( people ! in that sense ,


reviewing memory produces artifacts , long static renditions&nbsp;

&nbsp;


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;of blackface ( ? heaven ?&nbsp; so they try to shred the Bush


years with vocal runs . it&rsquo;s a room with floor to ceiling mirrors &amp;


people spread their arms there

&nbsp;


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; to sing to place the face at the center to tell the world


childhood is sweet though it tastes like power over ,

&nbsp;


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; though it tastes like pistachio . these are eyes I make the


world so careful with . long static . long talk . well , you say you


want a strong feeling .

&nbsp;


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; have one&nbsp; . or someone will think you&rsquo;re withholding .&nbsp; ( in


your tight t-shirt . tight tight tight . in your canada goose and gloves .

&nbsp;


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; it&rsquo;s like fed logic . depression-fighting escapism . childhood


is so sweet , they say , as they go house to house killing on a thick


recursive loop .

&nbsp;


&amp; their faces drip , they&rsquo;re wet with effort .


to heaven , on a mule

the real has that bad color now . my surprise was fluid


so bright when I discovered it , the sun gushed

roughly down my forehead , lips , etc. the red flags

cracked the black of the air . I thought kids , in this

climate ,


with these ordinances , these bullets flying ,,,


but my blinds are shut . when attachment

is stunned by punishment , the blinds just close themselves .

my work , in its troubled way , is strewn


about the room and I hear this is america

from the apartment next door &mdash; my world is so ugly


but I&rsquo;m beginning to like it as I look forward to

its changing soon . ours too , james confirms ,

is an age of propaganda . in my various educations


I had the shape of an idea about myself , without money ,

hostile to confession , doomed to the shallow knowledge

of the narcotized , granite , arms up , elbows out ,

aflame , asphyxiated , rageful , colored .


on the far side of war

and domination . but when I said my life was ugly ,

I was wrong for what I meant by it . there&rsquo;s no place


for that kind of confirmation . I was scrolling

when I was thinking , words were hammering ,

then my mind was filled by the light on my face ,


the blue light , the black lightning . this year , I&rsquo;m thinking

of wearing brighter colors . I&rsquo;m a fun person , imagine ,

demanding , imagine , ever so sprayed by circumstance .


so blood and carbon , so , in my troubled way , superstitious ,

diseased : I learned that

when it comes to writing poems ,

material isn&rsquo;t enough

or dreams


Benjamin Krusling

all that atheist shit done

as I approach the door with a welcoming action

I CRIED THEN I WAS UNABLE TO GO FORWARD

it contributes in a singularly emphatic way to the ideological function of art

listen up

maybe i'll sell crystals at the airport

millenarian amoxicillic blues

to heaven , on a mule

we’ve got to do something ... save the children ...

Benjamin Krusling

It Got So Dark

Glaring

all that atheist shit done

as I approach the door with a welcoming action

I CRIED THEN I WAS UNABLE TO GO FORWARD

it contributes in a singularly emphatic way to the ideological function of art

listen up

maybe i'll sell crystals at the airport

millenarian amoxicillic blues

to heaven , on a mule

we’ve got to do something ... save the children ...